


Kiyotaka Ishimaru Has No Friends

by strawberrylemonade1225



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Angst, Anxiety, Bullying, Character Study, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:00:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23761198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrylemonade1225/pseuds/strawberrylemonade1225
Summary: Kiyotaka Ishimaru has never had a friend before. He doesn't know if he'll ever have a friend. By this point, he is entirely convinced that he will never have a single good friend.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 110





	Kiyotaka Ishimaru Has No Friends

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for a scene in which Taka is bullied and many references to that bullying afterwards. Additionally, there is a scene in which he has a panic attack.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru has no friends.

This is a fact he chooses not to recognize. Of course, he loves facts, loves observing them, seeing them and statistics work hand and hand in the actual world, but this fact, along with multiple others, are hard to swallow. Therefore, he doesn't accept it as a fact and pushes it down, thinks that maybe,  _ just maybe _ , it isn't as factual as he fears it might be.

Contrary to popular belief, Kiyotaka  _ recognizes  _ that he lacks tack when it comes to… most sensitive situations, and he has been working on it! Many situations where he could display his new found skills haven't quite come up, but he knows that if he were to find himself in such a situation, his performance and assistance would be impeccable! It's only a matter of time, really, until that possibly non factual fact is confirmed to be non factual completely.

What probably wouldn't be surprising, though, is how Kiyotaka practiced in his mirror at home after a particularly devastating slip up (he had noticed a group of kids huddled up in the hall and, instead of investigating the situation, he called them out, yelling for them to get to their class, and had no response to a girl who called him an "asshole" with her face streaked with tears). He went over his tone, tried to figure out how to be more of a passive support, so on and so forth. Of course, it wasn't the most  _ organic _ practice, but it was practice nonetheless.

He may have no friends, but he is confident that that will change. This is the mindset he locks his brain in as he buttons up his jacket and straightens the front, preparing to head out and to school to start a brand new day.

***

Fall begins, and Kiyotaka Ishimaru has no friends.

He doesn't understand why, at this point. He's the perfect mixture of sensitive and serious and his sense of humor is killer.

… right?

It is, right? 

He thinks it is… at least, he was pretty sure it was. However, his confidence is waning and melting into something useless.

Every time he patrols his assigned hallways and reminds those doing no good of the rules and restrictions and talks at length about the sheer satisfaction they would feel if they abided by the rules set in place for them as students, he feels a sense of pride. He's fulfilling his role of a public morals committee member, and he knows that his status can only go up from here.

So what if when he approaches a group, they dissipate, saying the "snitch" has showed up? So what if when he makes a joke, he's stared at by unamused eyes and people who don't even bother to reply? So what if… so what if no one approaches him for anything that isn't related directly to a rule or to ask a favor of him or to just get on his case?

Actually, those who ask favors of him are his friends, right? Yes, they are! They must be, otherwise they wouldn't trust him with those precious favors! 

He smiles in the mirror, straightens the collar of his shirt, and heads out the door and to school to start a brand new day.

***

Kiyotaka Ishimaru becomes a tutor and he still has no friends.

He becomes a tutor despite his father's worry because he believes that teaching others material can help him to help them and allow him to review at the same time, especially during finals, which are just around the corner. Plus, he thinks he would be able to charm some people with his intelligence and high understanding of the subject material, which would win them over in a heartbeat.

Here's the thing, though.

No one signs up to get tutored by Kiyotaka.

No one.

After school on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the student tutors meet in the library and each have their tutoring appointments. People come in late, sometimes, and Kiyotaka lectures them about it. When they find out that every slot for tutoring has been filled with everyone else, Kiyotaka offers slots in his group and they laugh in his face before leaving.

As so, he sits and reads his textbooks alone every Tuesday and Thursday.

Alone.

Lonely, maybe.

He can hear the chattering surrounding him in the library. The room is large, and voices bounce on walls, and he really doesn't want to hear the sounds echoing in his head, but he would never ditch his post or break the no electronics rule to listen to any type of music. Therefore, he buries his nose in his books and continues to read all about DNA and amino acids for biology for the sixteenth time while he silently hopes for someone to enter his group, maybe on a brand new day.

***

It's January and Kiyotaka Ishimaru has made a friend! 

He's made a friend (his first  _ ever! _ ), and he cannot be happier. In fact, he would describe himself as over the moon with this development of his social endeavors!

He met this friend through them signing up to be tutored by him, and now they're close as ever, he thinks.

He's pretty sure they are!

In fact, he  _ knows  _ they are when this friend of his asks to meet up behind the school after school ends. He thinks that they should go home immediately after school, but he doesn't want to nag too much, mostly begins to think that the two of them may actually walk home together, and wouldn't that be great?

A few minutes to chat about the importance of the politics in place in their society and the structure that rules allow the world to have for hard working individuals. Maybe Kiyotaka would sprinkle in a few pop culture references? He has been studying what is "hip", after all!

When he goes behind the school on that fateful day, head in the clouds, he is soon brought down harshly when someone shoves him and his head ends up in the dirt. He doesn't even have time to register what's going on before he's being kicked from all angles and all different types of swears and being thrown around as if they're nothing.

All he registers is pain and when he tries to stand, he's kicked down again and again and again. Eventually, the kicking stops, and he stays sprawled on his stomach in pain, aching all over, having thankfully had the sense to cover his head with his arms when it had continued.

His head gets pulled off the ground by his hair and he grits his teeth against the pain. He can't quite focus, eyes blurry from tears and a mixture of emotions running through him. He tastes dirt on his tongue.

"That's what you get for snitching on us and getting us suspended, you goody two shoes bitch!" 

He raises his gaze and sees his friend, at least, he thinks he does, before his face is smashed into dirt again.

His friend and his friend's friends walk away and leave him there. He slowly pulls himself up onto his knees, dirt covered face still on the ground and he pounds his fists on the dirt while sobs rack his body. 

He guesses he doesn't really have a friend, huh? He didn't… he didn't think that this would happen, he hadn't figured he was  _ this  _ disliked, he…

He really is a nuisance, isn't he?

He stands up and flinches when he looks down and sees how much dirt covers his hands and uniforms and attempts to wipe dirt out of his eyes, which he knows probably just spreads it around more. He can't calm his sobs and his head is spinning from the pain and adrenaline and his emotions, but he needs to get home, he knows it will be dark soon.

He starts walking home, and he tries to ignore the limp in his walk. The sidewalks are mostly empty, but he doesn't miss the pitiful states directed his way when he does pass people. He likes to think that he still looks at least a little bit strong but…

How strong can he look while covered in dirt and face streaked with tears?

As if it's a cherry on top of the perfect day, it starts to pour. On one hand, Kiyotaka is thankful as it washes dirt off his face, but, on the other hand, he knows that soon, he'll be soaked to the bone, which will make him awfully susceptible to sickness.

Soon enough, he makes it home, and is glad to find that his dad isn't home yet. It makes his life a lot easier when he drags himself upstairs and pulls off his ruined uniform, stepping into the shower, and trying to keep it together as he cleans himself. Tear streaks blend into the shower and he falls apart, leaning against the tile. He allows himself a minute or two, turning off the water soon enough, not wanting to use too much hot water. The first time he sees himself fully in the mirror, his heart seems to come to a stop in his chest.

Black and blue and purple and red mark his skin in a borderline horrifying way. He's bruised everywhere, on his chest and sides and legs. Just  _ looking  _ at the bruises on his legs validates him limping. His arms are aligned with bruises as well, and his eye is a bit swollen, and he just knows that that bruise is not going to be pretty. He has to rip his eyes away from the mirror to continue on his routine, stepping into pajamas and entering his room, closing the door behind him. 

He decides to throw away the uniform, because, while he shouldn't really waste money this way, he knows that it's ruined. Those stains won't be coming out, but… it's okay. He has other pairs, and he has enough, and he'll be okay, and his head really,  _ really  _ aches.

That's why, that night, he goes to bed before eating dinner and before his father comes home. His dad finds him curled up in his bed and he convinces himself that his son is just asleep, just tired, and ignores the way his shoulders shake as he sobs yet again, hoping for a brand new and better day.

***

Spring begins and Kiyotaka Ishimaru has no friends.

A positive in his situation is that he will be attending Hope's Peak Academy starting next semester! 

He… hopes that no one else from his high school was admitted as well. You see, after what happened in January, he became… a target.

It never happened inside of school, it always occurs either when he is walking home, walking to school, or somewhere else entirely. He decides to stop being a tutor as thattendes to keep him after school late, and walking home after that becomes dangerous.

More often than not, he is covered in bruises. More often than not, he ducks his head around his father. More often than not, he limps to and from wherever he goes.

He doesn't break his own morals, though, that is for sure. He remains the "snitch", the "nuisance", the "jerk", "loudmouth", "goody two shoes", "drama queen", "tight ass", "bitch", so on and so forth.

So on and so forth. He has to applaud people on their creativity. 

Despite this, he cannot be more excited to enter Hope's Peak. This is a chance for a fresh start, a new environment, staying at the school and surely making friends-

Oh, who is he kidding?

He's still Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

He's still Kiyotaka Ishimaru, number one student, teacher's pet, obedient servant, goody two shoes. He's still Kiyotaka Ishimaru, loudmouth, insensitive, nosy, overdramatic. He's still Kiyotaka Ishimaru, Ultimate Unlikable Jerk.

He's still Kiyotaka Ishimaru, a nuisance.

His knees go weak on him and his smile falls as he stares at himself in the mirror a few days before his first semester starts at Hope's Peak. He grips the edges of the mirror in his room and falls to his knees and sobs.

The sobs ripping from his throat can be described as heartbreaking, can be described as pathetic. He's loud and he can't seem to quiet down. He's shaking, he knows he is, he can't calm it down, and he falls back until he's sitting, forced to meet his eyes. His knees are up to his chest and he fists hands in his hair as his thoughts spiral seemingly out of control.

He's Kiyotaka Ishimaru and he has no friends.

He's Kiyotaka Ishimaru and he is a stickler for the rules and that will never change no matter how much people hate him for it.

He's Kiyotaka Ishimaru and his family name is smeared for eternity and they're  _ poor. _

He's Kiyotaka Ishimaru and he has never had a single friend in his life and he doesn't even know if his father and him can even be considered friends.

He's Kiyotaka Ishimaru and he hates his situation and he hates how naive he is and he hates how all he knows how to do is study and hates how he isn't good enough and he  _ hates  _ himself.

His breathing calms down and he leans against his bed, meeting his eyes in the mirror.

He's Kiyotaka Ishimaru and his optimism for a brand new day has been drained.

***

It has been one month at Hope's Peak Academy, and Kiyotaka Ishimaru has no friends.

Thankfully, no one bullies him here. He has people who tease him, of course, but it never seems to be out of malicious intent.

Leon Kuwata is one such person who consistently teases him. He constantly tries to convince him that lewd sayings or profanities aren't truly what they are, and he is constantly surprised when Kiyotaka proves to be not quite as innocent as Kuwata must've thought, handing him a white slip explaining that he has detention.

Kuwata is always hanging around a guy named Mondo Owada who honestly looks too old to be a high schooler simply for his height and his size. He's intimidating, sure, but he is the bane of Kiyotaka's existence and he is  _ never  _ afraid to remind him of it.

In this academy, people are… nicer to him. Of course, people like Junko Enoshima consistently tell him to "shut the hell up" whenever he shouts during class or at someone in the hallway or Touko Fukawa who calls him an idiot any time he says anything particularly naive, but… things are surprisingly okay.

There's someone named Chihiro Fujisaki that always says hello to Kiyotaka when they pass one another and Makoto Naegi who asks him how his day is every morning. There's Yasuhiro Hagakure who asks him how he's doing whenever Kiyotaka seems particularly stressed, and people who just…  _ talk  _ to him.

He feels seen, but in the best way possible.

He's naive, but not too naive, though.

He knows that none of these people are his friends. He's too much of a nuisance for that.

There's one fact in his mind that remains true no matter what situation he finds himself in.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru has no friends.

**Author's Note:**

> mr kiyotaka ishimaru took me by the hand and made me obsessed with him and this is what ended up coming out of it


End file.
